So now i am writing on my proposal for the PhD grant. This is probably the most important piece of text i have written so far in my life. And it sounds like….shit. The problem at hand here is for sure that you always see yourself over critical. Then again, on such an important piece, you wonder if there is any way to be too critical. Beating yourself up about things you can not do better is not going to help though either. I sent it now for corrections and i am waiting for a reply. The whole thing is really freaking me out. I have to fill out 1001 forms and i have no idea how and i am terrified of doing it wrong. It also bugs me out that i do not know if i am going to get this job or if i am going to be unemployed without financing next year. I also feel guilty towards my fiance for wanting to get married without bringing money to the table. Its scary times…..